arg agh blech

So frustrated. Must change everything I do. Can't go on. (If one were to read this aloud, it should be read like William Shatner, lots o' pauses and drama.)
If I were any wiser I'd realize that this time of year I'm going to hate everything I do and think I'm a terrible teacher no matter what. It's not a good time to make decisions like taking on a massive overhaul of one's teaching style. There. I have written proof that I STILL have some rational faculties left. I really should be using this time to do something having more directly to do with my teaching, but I think that getting some junk off my mind really truly SHOULD be my first priority if I want to stay sane.
This time of year is always the same - it should come as no surprise to me, but it does seem more stressful than usual. It's that self-destructive combo of being too lenient with kids and their makeup work (which technically they have 1 week to make up after an absence...), taking on too much and not planning well for it, and getting caught up in office dramas that are just, unfortunately, a bunch of stressed out people taking their frustrations out on each other.
This day sort of feels like it has black clouds hanging over it, but that's most likely a reflection of my current mental state. As of the moment I walked in to school, I was still reeling from the ridiculous argument that I was privy to in the office the night before. Within 2 minutes I was promptly, and somewhat rudely, chastized for something that is NOT my responsibility. Then, as I approached the office, I was told that a coworker is really sick today and we all need to pitch things in to help the sub prepare (not a big deal, normally, but I'm at the point that if there's one more thing expected of me I'll have a break down.) Then, my first hour were complete slob-olas, and lazy ones at that. They have their final tomorrow - for MANY of them their first high school final ever - but they blew off the review activity and left the room in a shambles despite my directives to help clean up. I was so annoyed that by 8:30 I was already on the cusp of tears. My second hour was very sweet to me since they knew I was having a rough day, and they all kept finding things to tell me that they thought would cheer me up (and they did!). However, it was all over when I went in to talk to an AP to have my post-observation conference. I wasn't anticipating anything really truly heartbreakingly negative (what a long list of adverbs...), but he's such an approachable guy that I promptly burst into tears. It's just the culmination of a billion little frustrations, like showing up to my 5th hour makeshift classroom to find the temporary wall open, choir risers everywhere, and all the necessary components of the computer - a VERY integral part of my lessons - completely disconnected, with the cords tangled into a bird's nest. That, and also putting the ridiculous pressure on myself to try to fix every problem that comes my way, and everyone else's for that matter.
The fact that I'm sitting here at 2 pm with the liberty to type away furiously without interruption for 30 minutes is another source of frustration: I'm waiting for procrastinating stragglers to meet with me for their final oral, which is a 10 minute conversation with me. This lack of interruption forebodes a MASSIVE line after school that would, if I were feeling more generous, keep me here till 5:30. Fortunately I'm feeling selfish; I've already established that I'm leaving here at 4, and if they didn't do their orals already, TOUGH. They've had since OCTOBER. I'm gettin' me a #$%^@! pedicure instead!